CERTAINTY, OR NOT

What do you know for sure?

I don't mean this just as a casual greeting like "Wazzup?" I really mean "What do you know for sure?" What do you know that's always been true and will continue to be true?

To test your answer, ask yourself, "Does everyone you know believe the same thing?" Do you think everybody alive believes the same thing? I'm going with no. All you can really say is, "This is what I believe. This is what I know for sure, and I will continue to live my life according to that belief-- until I believe something else."

Short of death, there is nothing universally "for sure."

You'd believe everything if you could, but you can't; too many conflicts. You also cannot believe in nothing. (If you did, you'd be saying you believe in nothing, which is believing in something.) That leaves picking and choosing what, for you, will be the beliefs, the "for sures," the rules by which you live your life.

What causes us so much stress in our lives is our belief that the way we view the world is "for sure," and others who can't see it that way obviously just don't get it. Our never-ending mission in life then becomes bringing others to the one true meaning. Think about your work stress. How much stress is caused by your frustration over things not going the way you believe they should go? Should they? Why does it need to be your way? Could your way possibly be "wrong?"

How about when you send that letter in to the boss for her approval. You have been working on that mini-masterpiece for two days, crafted every word, and designed every sentence. You have a great pride of authorship. She changes a significant portion because the boss thinks it reads better her way. Who's right? Some who read the letter might prefer the boss's way, some yours. Is it worth getting nuts about? As Dave Berry wrote: "In the song 'Home on the Range,' where it says 'the skies are not cloudy all day' does that mean the skies are cloudy, but not all day, or does it mean that the skies are totally cloud free all day? Also do the deer and the antelope play with each other?"

What do you know "for sure?" Searching for absolutes outside your own skin is useless and stressful.

The deep thinkers keep telling us we should not be judgmental. Things aren't right or wrong, they just are. While I believe being completely non-judgmental is a worthwhile goal of mankind, and a significant reducer of stress, I also believe it to be impossible. Working toward the meaty goal of reducing stress through non-judgmentalism would be much easier if we didn't see the world as full of "for sures."

Some "sure" things in your life you change because the change is in your best interest. Some you change because life's experiences show them to be false. Either way changing "for sures" is tough because it doesn't leave you anything to wrap your arms around. And stress can pull us apart when we don't have anything to hold on to.


Lesson: Nothing in life is for sure, and that's for sure.