THE POTENT POWER OF THE PAST

"I am the way I am because 30 years ago, when I was five years old, my mean old Aunt Mildred used to lock me in the closet for punishment."

FAMILY UPDATE -- Aunt Mildred is now dead. fifteen years ago the house with the closet was demolished for a new freeway.

REALITY CHECK -- The closet and Aunt Mildred are gone forever. Nothing she did can be changed. Everything she did exists only in your mind. You are the only one who controls what continues to live in your mind.

I'm not a trained therapist, but I do give myself some credit for common sense. Using the unchangeable past to determine what you can or can not be in the changeable future, is not, to me, common sense.

ENSLAVING LOGIC -- You can't change the past, and the past determines the future, therefore you can't change the future.

Internalizing that frighteningly flawed statement, you become a totally powerless, ineffective puppet destined to live your future under the control of the puppeteer of an unalterable past.

That's too much power to give away.

EMPOWERING LOGIC -- You can't change the past; the past determines nothing; the future is yours to create.

To paraphrase Dr. Martin Seligman from his book, What You Can Change and What You Can't, effective therapy has the best success rate over the long term if the therapy contains two factors. The therapy focuses on the future and it involves taking responsibility.

Let's give Doc Martin an amen.


Lesson: What's done is done and can't be undone. What's to be done is to be done, and it's up to you to do it.