Do motivational speakers drive you up the cliché-covered wall with anecdotes like:
"You can be anything you want to be, you just need to want it enough. That desire combined with power visualization and measurable, observable goals will get you anything you can conceive. What you can believe you can achieve."
All semi-rubbish.
Even with desire, visualization and goals, some people get squat. Why?
I'm about to give you the secret missing ingredient to attainment of all of your life's dreams and desires. Here it is, ready--
LUCK.
Somewhere along the way you need a great big, fat dose of good, old-fashioned luck.
Of course you must be prepared, have the vision, set meaningful goals and practice the proper skills, but without the big name record producer randomly wandering in for a Jack and water, the singer is still the lounge act at the Holiday Inn.
Lesson: A life without luck is a life without.
The all-leather, NFL-regulation football, inscribed -- 1963 Chicago Bears
Thursday, March 29, 2012
Thursday, March 22, 2012
THE POTENT POWER OF THE PAST
"I am the way I am because 30 years ago, when I was five years old, my mean old Aunt Mildred used to lock me in the closet for punishment."
FAMILY UPDATE -- Aunt Mildred is now dead. fifteen years ago the house with the closet was demolished for a new freeway.
REALITY CHECK -- The closet and Aunt Mildred are gone forever. Nothing she did can be changed. Everything she did exists only in your mind. You are the only one who controls what continues to live in your mind.
I'm not a trained therapist, but I do give myself some credit for common sense. Using the unchangeable past to determine what you can or can not be in the changeable future, is not, to me, common sense.
ENSLAVING LOGIC -- You can't change the past, and the past determines the future, therefore you can't change the future.
Internalizing that frighteningly flawed statement, you become a totally powerless, ineffective puppet destined to live your future under the control of the puppeteer of an unalterable past.
That's too much power to give away.
EMPOWERING LOGIC -- You can't change the past; the past determines nothing; the future is yours to create.
To paraphrase Dr. Martin Seligman from his book, What You Can Change and What You Can't, effective therapy has the best success rate over the long term if the therapy contains two factors. The therapy focuses on the future and it involves taking responsibility.
Let's give Doc Martin an amen.
Lesson: What's done is done and can't be undone. What's to be done is to be done, and it's up to you to do it.
FAMILY UPDATE -- Aunt Mildred is now dead. fifteen years ago the house with the closet was demolished for a new freeway.
REALITY CHECK -- The closet and Aunt Mildred are gone forever. Nothing she did can be changed. Everything she did exists only in your mind. You are the only one who controls what continues to live in your mind.
I'm not a trained therapist, but I do give myself some credit for common sense. Using the unchangeable past to determine what you can or can not be in the changeable future, is not, to me, common sense.
ENSLAVING LOGIC -- You can't change the past, and the past determines the future, therefore you can't change the future.
Internalizing that frighteningly flawed statement, you become a totally powerless, ineffective puppet destined to live your future under the control of the puppeteer of an unalterable past.
That's too much power to give away.
EMPOWERING LOGIC -- You can't change the past; the past determines nothing; the future is yours to create.
To paraphrase Dr. Martin Seligman from his book, What You Can Change and What You Can't, effective therapy has the best success rate over the long term if the therapy contains two factors. The therapy focuses on the future and it involves taking responsibility.
Let's give Doc Martin an amen.
Lesson: What's done is done and can't be undone. What's to be done is to be done, and it's up to you to do it.
Thursday, March 15, 2012
THINK AND GROW RICH
Take 100% of the people -- 80% with the most wealth, 20% with little wealth. Confiscate all the money from the 100% and distribute it evenly. As the story goes, within 5 years you'd have the same 80% with the most wealth and the same 20% eyeing up dumpsters. (If you wish you can substitute 99% and 1%)
I happen to believe this classic, economic discussion/fight, starter. Some people just know how to make money and cannot see themselves without wealth. Others, are just the opposite. So it would appear self-image and money-making knowledge are major ingredients in wealth accumulation.
Let's look at knowledge. Knowledge can be, but doesn't need to be, obtained through formal education. Life experiences of making and losing money help one understand at both an academic and a visceral level how to get the 80% back. But knowledge is the easy part. The uphill battle is changing monetary self-image.
How do you see yourself and money? Are you the kind of person who earns in the $20,000-$40,000 range? (After all, given your education and the income level your folks labored in, how could you ever expect more?) Do you earn $60,000 to $99,999.99? (Top that six-figure mark and spontaneously ignite?)
If you are a $40,000 person, you wouldn't see a six-figure opportunity if it bit you in the assets, but if you're a six-figure person, that's all you'd see. Might you have a monetary, self-image thermostat? You set it at a level most comfortable for you. If you go over, you shut down; if under, you crank it up.
Lesson: Money is in your head before it's in your wallet.
I happen to believe this classic, economic discussion/fight, starter. Some people just know how to make money and cannot see themselves without wealth. Others, are just the opposite. So it would appear self-image and money-making knowledge are major ingredients in wealth accumulation.
Let's look at knowledge. Knowledge can be, but doesn't need to be, obtained through formal education. Life experiences of making and losing money help one understand at both an academic and a visceral level how to get the 80% back. But knowledge is the easy part. The uphill battle is changing monetary self-image.
How do you see yourself and money? Are you the kind of person who earns in the $20,000-$40,000 range? (After all, given your education and the income level your folks labored in, how could you ever expect more?) Do you earn $60,000 to $99,999.99? (Top that six-figure mark and spontaneously ignite?)
If you are a $40,000 person, you wouldn't see a six-figure opportunity if it bit you in the assets, but if you're a six-figure person, that's all you'd see. Might you have a monetary, self-image thermostat? You set it at a level most comfortable for you. If you go over, you shut down; if under, you crank it up.
Lesson: Money is in your head before it's in your wallet.
Thursday, March 8, 2012
THE NFL REGULATION FOOTBALL
(The following also appeared in the Chicken Soup for the Sports Fan.)
The year was 1964. The place was Chicago. A man I worked with had acquired a couple of special, all-leather, NFL-regulation footballs, inscribed -- 1963 Chicago Bears, and was selling them at a good price.
My first son was on the way. (This was in pre-ultrasound days, but I figured we had at least a 50/50 chance it would be a son. It was a chance I was willing to take.) I bought the football. I had my son's "coming home from the hospital" gift -- an all-leather, NFL-regulation football, inscribed -- 1963 Chicago Bears. That was something special.
Several years later, young Tom (we were not too creative in the name department) was rummaging around in the garage as only a five year old can rummage when he came across the special, all-leather, NFL-regulation football, inscribed -- 1963 Chicago Bears. He asked if he could play with it.
With as much logic as I felt he could understand, I explained to him that he was still a bit too young to play carefully such a special football. We had the same conversation several more times in the next few months, and soon the requests faded away.
The next fall, after watching a football game on television, Tom asked, "Dad, remember that football you have in the garage? Can I use it to play with the guys now?"
Eyes rolling up in my head, I replied, "Tom, you don't understand; you just don't go out and casually throw around an all-leather, NFL-regulation football, inscribed -- 1963 Chicago Bears. I told you before; it's special."
Eventually Tom stopped asking altogether, but he did remember. A few years later he told his younger brother, Dave, about the all-leather, NFL-regulation football, inscribed -- 1963 Chicago Bears that was special and kept somewhere in the garage. Dave came to me one day asking if he could take that special football and throw it around. It seemed like I'd been through this before, but I patiently explained, once again, that you don't just go out for no reason and throw around an all-leather, NFL-regulation football, inscribed -- 1963 Chicago Bears.
Soon Dave, too, stopped asking.
A couple of months ago I was in the garage looking for some WD-40 (which, with the aid of a rubber hammer, I use to fix about everything I choose to fix), when I noticed a large box that had "coveralls" written across it. I couldn't remember bringing along any coveralls when we moved from Chicago to Albuquerque, so I opened the box. There, long forgotten, was the all-leather, NFL-regulation football, inscribed -- 1963 Chicago Bears.
It wasn't special anymore. It wasn't special at all.
I stood alone in the garage. The boys had long since moved away from home, and suddenly I realized the football had never been so special after all. Children playing with it when it was their time to play would have made it special. I had blown those precious, present moments that can never be reclaimed, and I had saved a hunk of leather filled with stale air. For what?
I took the football across the street and gave it to a family with young children. A couple of hours later I looked out the window. They were throwing, catching, kicking and letting skid across the cement my all-leather, NFL-regulation football, inscribed — 1963 Chicago Bears. Now it was special!
You may not have a football stashed away in a coverall box, but do you have dishes that are too good to use, furniture that's too expensive to sit on, clothes and aged bottles of wine for that special occasion that never comes? Are you "doing more with less," "doing better faster," and "sticking twelve hours of work in a ten hour bag," to get more "things," while at the same time not using, or even appreciating, the "things" you do have? Are you letting the one-of-a-kind, never-to-be-repeated moments — the footballs in life — get away?
Lesson:If you save something long enough, you lose it.
The year was 1964. The place was Chicago. A man I worked with had acquired a couple of special, all-leather, NFL-regulation footballs, inscribed -- 1963 Chicago Bears, and was selling them at a good price.
My first son was on the way. (This was in pre-ultrasound days, but I figured we had at least a 50/50 chance it would be a son. It was a chance I was willing to take.) I bought the football. I had my son's "coming home from the hospital" gift -- an all-leather, NFL-regulation football, inscribed -- 1963 Chicago Bears. That was something special.
Several years later, young Tom (we were not too creative in the name department) was rummaging around in the garage as only a five year old can rummage when he came across the special, all-leather, NFL-regulation football, inscribed -- 1963 Chicago Bears. He asked if he could play with it.
With as much logic as I felt he could understand, I explained to him that he was still a bit too young to play carefully such a special football. We had the same conversation several more times in the next few months, and soon the requests faded away.
The next fall, after watching a football game on television, Tom asked, "Dad, remember that football you have in the garage? Can I use it to play with the guys now?"
Eyes rolling up in my head, I replied, "Tom, you don't understand; you just don't go out and casually throw around an all-leather, NFL-regulation football, inscribed -- 1963 Chicago Bears. I told you before; it's special."
Eventually Tom stopped asking altogether, but he did remember. A few years later he told his younger brother, Dave, about the all-leather, NFL-regulation football, inscribed -- 1963 Chicago Bears that was special and kept somewhere in the garage. Dave came to me one day asking if he could take that special football and throw it around. It seemed like I'd been through this before, but I patiently explained, once again, that you don't just go out for no reason and throw around an all-leather, NFL-regulation football, inscribed -- 1963 Chicago Bears.
Soon Dave, too, stopped asking.
A couple of months ago I was in the garage looking for some WD-40 (which, with the aid of a rubber hammer, I use to fix about everything I choose to fix), when I noticed a large box that had "coveralls" written across it. I couldn't remember bringing along any coveralls when we moved from Chicago to Albuquerque, so I opened the box. There, long forgotten, was the all-leather, NFL-regulation football, inscribed -- 1963 Chicago Bears.
It wasn't special anymore. It wasn't special at all.
I stood alone in the garage. The boys had long since moved away from home, and suddenly I realized the football had never been so special after all. Children playing with it when it was their time to play would have made it special. I had blown those precious, present moments that can never be reclaimed, and I had saved a hunk of leather filled with stale air. For what?
I took the football across the street and gave it to a family with young children. A couple of hours later I looked out the window. They were throwing, catching, kicking and letting skid across the cement my all-leather, NFL-regulation football, inscribed — 1963 Chicago Bears. Now it was special!
You may not have a football stashed away in a coverall box, but do you have dishes that are too good to use, furniture that's too expensive to sit on, clothes and aged bottles of wine for that special occasion that never comes? Are you "doing more with less," "doing better faster," and "sticking twelve hours of work in a ten hour bag," to get more "things," while at the same time not using, or even appreciating, the "things" you do have? Are you letting the one-of-a-kind, never-to-be-repeated moments — the footballs in life — get away?
Lesson:If you save something long enough, you lose it.
Thursday, March 1, 2012
PARAPHRASING FROM THE GOOD BOOK
Eight Beatitudes for Personal Success
1) Blessed are the honest for they will never need a good memory.
2) Blessed are those who value their friends for they will have many.
3) Blessed are those who don't take themselves too seriously for they will
giggle more than gag.
4) Blessed are the flexible for they shall not be bent out of shape.
5) Blessed are those who communicate for they are our teachers.
6) Blessed are those who know where they're headed for when they get there they'll know where they are.
7) Blessed are those who contribute as members of the community for without them we are all less.
8) Blessed are the healthy for they shall live long enough to exhibit the other seven beatitudes.
Lesson:Beatitudes are attitudes.
1) Blessed are the honest for they will never need a good memory.
2) Blessed are those who value their friends for they will have many.
3) Blessed are those who don't take themselves too seriously for they will
giggle more than gag.
4) Blessed are the flexible for they shall not be bent out of shape.
5) Blessed are those who communicate for they are our teachers.
6) Blessed are those who know where they're headed for when they get there they'll know where they are.
7) Blessed are those who contribute as members of the community for without them we are all less.
8) Blessed are the healthy for they shall live long enough to exhibit the other seven beatitudes.
Lesson:Beatitudes are attitudes.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)