ANOTHER WAKE UP CALL

I was feeding the horses when life changed.

Just slinging hay and singing along (under my breath so as not to scare the horses) with a county and western tune on the radio the morning of September 11, 2001.

After every major national tragedy some deep-voiced radio guy or TV talking head will say, "We have lost our innocence." That's true, but we have also gained something. We have gained intelligence. The more you know, the less innocent you are.

I first remember losing my innocence (in the sense we are speaking--stay with me here), and gaining intelligence when John Kennedy was assassinated. After November 22, 1963, I realized how vulnerable our presidents are. When a president visits New Mexico I feel a sense of relief when he leaves. (No Dallas here today.) I lost another chunk of innocence and gained intelligence during the Viet Nam war and Watergate, I now know the depths to which politician can rise.

Intelligence gained and innocence lost at the World Trade Center. The universe apparently doesn't want any of us walking around here for 187 years so when we get closer to cures for the likes of cancer, nature gives us suicidal terrorists. Life will not be won, and death will not be beaten. I have been reminded of that lesson this time by strangers whose names I can't pronounce and whose beliefs I can't comprehend. I won't forget again.

Living, it has been said, is the only game where we learn the rules as we play the game. So, if we stay alert at all, the longer we live the more time we get to know how life works. We lose innocence and gain intelligence minute by minute. We understand mortality. We see everyday that good guys don't always win and bad guys don't always lose. We recognize that life has a plan of its own, which may or may not have anything to do with us. Just about the time we really have it figured out, the whistle blows and the game is over. I get it.

Lesson: In life's school the teacher never sleeps.

GOLF BAGS AND SHOULDER PADS

"Winning is everything!"

Vince Lombardi

"Nuts!"

Tom Payne

There has to be more to life than "winning." What about love, friendship, learning, growing? Aren't those more "everything" than -- winning?

But the more I thought of it, the more I believed the coach was right -- winning is everything. But first you must define the game, and when you know the game you're playing, you'll know the skills you need to win.

If the game is to score more points then the opponent by getting the ball across the goal line either by carrying, passing or kicking, then you need to master the skills of running, blocking, kicking, and passing.

But if the game is to knock a little white ball around with a club as few times as possible, then the required skills are different than the running, blocking, etc. game

So when coach Vince said, "Winning is everything," if he meant you should strive to be the best in the game you're choosing to play (and that game can be anything from the game of shopping to the game of life ), I agree with him completely.

A problem arises when there is an unclear definition of the game. You're all dressed and practiced up for golf, and you find yourselves in a football game. You're confused. This is happening to many people today. The game is changing and the players are not. People are walking around with golf bags slung over their shoulder pads.

While anything is possible, it's a poor bet that you'll win a game you don't know you're playing. Define the games that are important to you; stop playing the games that aren't. Acquire the skills needed to win, and go for it.

Lesson: Know the game, master the skills, and play to win.